GREATEST. POSTER. EVER.

I found this on CHUD.COM and it just tickles me to no end.  There are so many ways that this French poster for the horribly titled Wolverine spin-off movie is terrible, not the least of which being that it reminds audiences of the Hugh Jackman's other public persona, the all-singing, all-dancing, Tony-winning owner of a huge ackman.  

Anyway, this is too funny to ignore.  Please, leave comments with what YOU think angsty Logan is screaming in this candidly captured moment.  I call dibs on:

"STELLA!  STELLA!"

MY APOLOGIES, NEGLECTED DUDDITS (and reader).

This 24-hours in a day bullshit is the bullshit.  I have to work five days a week and go to school.  Most days that eats up 8 hours.  I want to be able to read more books, enjoy the occasional video game, and be sociable with my local group of hooligans, ne'rdowells and (insert your favorite pejorative here!)s.  Each of those could take up a few hours a day.  But what I desperately need to to do is watch many, many more movies and write pithy reviews of each for this here blagosphere.  And that takes up at least two hours a day to watch.  The writing part I'm still working the kinks out on...

So yes.  Fuck the 24-hour day and its fascist restrictions on those of us with numerous time-consuming hobbies.  This is the gentrification of my day, leaving only enough time for work and some (but not all) bodily functions.

Anyway, I've seen a ton of movies of late, reviews of (some of) which may or may not be coming down the pipeline in the semi-near future.  Yes, that was a particularly definitive sentence.   In the mean time, here are some single sentence reviews of what I've seen to whet your appetite for whatever monstrosities of bad prose I concoct for the full review.

CORALINE - I loved it for being the kind of kid's movie people don't make anymore (scary, thoughtful and intense), but was often bored by its fairly dull protagonist and protracted running time.  Still, the production design was gorgeous and the 3D is used better here than ever before.

NICK & NORA'S INFINITE PLAYLIST - if I was 15 and either gay or a girl, I'd have loved this movie.  Not being any of those things, however, means it was a marginally enjoyable collection of teen movie cliches, an off-screen fingerbang, and another great Michael Cera performance.

ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO - Kevin Smith aping Judd Apatow does nothing for me.  Nor do Smith's trademark obvious Star Wars jokes or on-screen anal leakage.  

W. - Not the return to form for Oliver Stone that I'd hoped for, but not the cluster fuck train wreck that I expected either.  Josh Brolin is amazing as Bush in this surprisingly sympathetic look at the now-former President.  

FROZEN RIVER - This movie gives the repressed filmmaker inside me hope.  Made on an incredibly modest budget, this terrific drama is going to get national acclaim when Melissa Leo wins the Best Actress Oscar in a few weeks.  

MIRACLE AT ST. ANNA - Aside from the black cast and sharp visuals, there's nothing about this movie that would hint that Spike Lee was involved.  Dull, drawn out and uninteresting.  I turned it off an hour in.  

TRANSSIBERIAN - Features the rare good post-2000 Ben Kingsley performance.  Also, is a terrific thriller.  

LAKEVIEW TERRACE - Features the rare good Sam Jackson performance.  Also, is a terrific thriller.  

ROCK-N-ROLL - The British gangster movie from Guy Ritchie, which means it's just like the last British gangster movie from Guy Ritchie: clever, funny and convoluted.  Also very enjoyable.  

SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK - Charlie Kaufman unfiltered.  The biggest mind-fuck I've ever seen.  A beautiful movie.

MILK - An efficient script, tight direction and all-around stellar cast makes this a very good Oscar baiter.  Its timing makes it unforgettable.

DEFIANCE - So forgettable I had difficulty remember parts of it the day after.  Bland, predictable, familiar.  Daniel Craig and Liev Schrieber should be in better.

Thoughts?  Preferences?  Any particular review any body's dying to read?  PLEASE SOMEONE USE THE COMMENTS SECTION, I'M DESPERATE FOR FEEDBACK/ATTENTION.