Be Thankful, Honkey Grandmas!

A few quick thoughts while I quietly ponder being thankful for nationally-endorsed gluttony and watch a House, M.D. marathon on USA (do they really need to advertise the new season of The Starter Wife every fucking c-break?  I wasn't going to watch the show after the first 70 commercials, but now that I'm all but convinced that it's Entourage by way of Sex and the City, I'd rather commit ritual suicide via turkey sandwiches than watch that refried shit).  

• Watched The X-Files: I Want to Believe, wishing desperately that I didn't.  I wanted so bad for all the reviews to be wrong, or even right so long as I could enjoy the show as a warm, nostalgic throwback to a seminal show from my upbringing.  Fortunately and unfortunately, the critics were wrong: the movie isn't just bad, it's boring as hell.  The plot, which is too convoluted and nonsensical to be recalled, includes kidnapping, psychics, pedophilia and surgical head transplants, and was STILL boring!  Seeing Mulder and Scully onscreen certainly helped the movie, and the two leads slip back into those two characters effortlessly, but the script fails to provide either one of them anything interesting to do, say or stand peripheral to.  Very, very disappointing.
• Hancock.  Somewhere on the editing room floor is a watchable version of this movie, but it sure as hell isn't the one they put out on DVD, regardless of which version you pick up (the "unrated extended cut" is 10-minutes longer than the theatrical DVD, but the movie needs a hell of a lot more than 10-minutes to fix what ails it).  Will Smith is expectedly terrific, and Jason Bateman is flawless in a fairly dull role, though his mentally-retarded fiance from Arrested Development (Charlize Theron) is, well, mentally retarded here.  Also, hot.  The movie's based around a great idea that's executed very poorly - the only thing worse than the script are the visual effects, which must be hands down the ugliest and least convincing CGI since anything in anything Stephen Sommers ever directed.*  Assume that the best parts of the movie are in the trailer (they are) and skip it.
• Finally, Warner Bros. has started their big Oscar push for The Dark Knight, and not just for Heath Ledger.  Though the movie's terrific score (the one nomination that I wouldn't begrudge the film) has been disqualified by the Academy for having too many credited composers and editors, WB is undaunted, apparently pushing to get the thing a Best Picture nomination.

Seriously?  I understand that Ledger's nomination was sewed up while his body was still warm, but Best Picture?  I can't even put into words how much that irks my shit.  More on that later, for certain.  In the mean time, here's a look at WB's "For Your Consideration" poster for Heath.  As a sidenote, can I get people on board with the idea of replacing oxycontin's popular euphamism "hillbilly heroin" with the more timely, popularly-insensitive "Heath heroin?"  I think it's catchy.  Thoughts?

   

*Excluding Deep Rising, of course.