HALLOWEEK OF SOMETHING! Part 1

Okay, so maybe declaring that I'd watch a bunch of horror movies and post reviews leading up to Halloween, knowing my own proclivities when it comes to deadlines, wasn't demonstrable of my dedication to this blag.

Or maybe it was.  Anyway, better late than really late... here goes.

THE BLOB.  1988.  Goodness, did I love the ever-loving crap-love out of this movie... love.  You know you're in for something unexpectedly special when the entire opening credits has only two names of interest; unfortunately for The Blob, one of them is Kevin Dillon.  Luckily for the viewer, the other just happened to be co-writer Frank Darabont.  While I dispassionately respect The Green Mile and The Shawshank Redemption, despite the staggering amount of needless praise on the latter, it's The Mist that really makes me love Darabont, and The Blob is very much a tonal precursor to that film (only better).  

The movie sets up all the standard creature-attacks-small-town characters, and kills them off in the exact opposite order from what you'd expect.  And like in The Mist, those characters have just enough little moments prior to their grisly deaths to make their passing just a little sad, while still simultaneously awesome.  Awesome, I say, because the kills in this movie are inventive and varied in their grotesquerie (ought to be a word), and they're almost 100% practical.  As far as gorey effects movies go, the only thing I could compare The Blob to is Carpenter's The Thing.  For those who've seen the latter, you know such a comparison is pretty goddamn high praise.  While there isn't anything quite on par with The Thing's best gags (the stomach-mouth-spiderhead in particular), Blob still has plenty of genius creature effects.  I can't decide which I love more: the kid who gets his face melted off, or the dude who gets sucked down a sink pipe whole.  Well, sort of whole.  

The Blob is grade-A execution of B-movie content.  Witness its glory.  

BUG.  2006.  

If I told you that I just recently saw one of the best film performances that I've ever seen, and that it came out of Ashley Judd, you'd probably slap me... that is, if you were one of my friends, who know better than to listen to my hyperbolic fits of ecstasy over movies I'll probably only rave about for a week before viciously turning on them* and cruelly exposing all their flaws.  Of course, if you were one of my friends, you really wouldn't need much of an excuse to slap me at all, would you?  Long tangent short, Ashley Judd is terrible.  Just fucking horrible.  Really, really, retardedly bad.  

At picking screenplays.  

In truth, I've always thought she was a very talented actress who wasted her time and skills on generic Lifetime-with-a-budget thrillers and mindless romantic comedies, but she really surprised me with Bug.  Not only does she give a fucking fantastic performance (the profanity is to emphasize my enthusiasm, obviously), but it's in an honest to gods great movie.  

Oh, right.  Speaking of surprises from people you expect shit from, William Friedkin directed it!  Friedkin of late has been known for making very workman-like, very forgettable pictures, including The Hunted and Rules of Engagement.  But for a while he was better known as the goddamn brilliant director of The French Connection, The Exorcist and To Live and Die in L.A.  I'm ecstatic to report (two years after its theatrical release) that Bug is Friedkin's return to form.  

Goddamn did that movie freak me the fuck out.  It starts out as a simple human drama (menacingly photographed)  and turns into something considerably more disturbing.  Judd plays Agnes, an addict grieving a lost child and living in fear of an abusive ex-husband, who was just recently released from prison (for beating the ever-living shit out of her, of course).  She encounters Peter, played brilliantly** by Michael Shannon, another damaged soul with a secret.  Friedkin lets a sense of dread permeate the film, even in prosaic scenes that wouldn't feel out of place in a romantic drama.  That foreboding quality makes Bug's eventual transition into true horror an expected one, though no less horrifying.  

I'm not going to say anymore about the movie except that you should obtain a copy with great urgency.  Bug isn't a traditional horror movie, but it's the most horrific film I've ever seen.   The thing unsettled my shit in the worst way and has invaded my sleep ever since I reached its devastating finale.  I've run out of evocative adjectives to describe the movie.  Just watch it.  Alone, and in the dark.  

NEXT: Rosemary's Baby, Event Horizon, Halloween.  

*Turning on the movies, not my friends, though I can do that, too.

**Really, really brilliantly, not just "I'm pretentious and am gonna call something brilliant to sound significant.  Also, not British brilliant, 'cause those people throw the word around like it's candy)